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Birthday Suit...Missing Party

When someone finds out I am a real estate agent, one of the most common questions I get is, “What is the craziest thing that has happened to you on the job?” So here it is….


I am a punctual person. That is a lie. I am an I-would-rather-be-one-hour-early-than-one-minute-late person. In other words, if I have a 1:00 appointment, I am there by 12:50….truth be told, I am there by 12:45, but refrain from leaving my car until 12:50. I was scheduled to meet my buyers at a house they wanted to see, at 4:00. The seller’s agent had been notified the day before and had passed that information onto the homeowners. This is routine. When you are selling your home, you are prepped for these situations. You usually clean the morning of your showing and get your house looking spick and span before high-tailing it out before they show up. Usually. This day? Not so much. I walk up to the house at about 3:50. I ring the bell. No answer (there usually isn’t, but it is common courtesy to let the ghost know you are heading in). I put the code in, and head in, calling out, “Hello?” as I shut the door behind me. Realtors always show up a little early, to make sure all the lights are on and nothing obvious is laying out that should be put away. I make my way through the entryway and hear something to my right. I turn, and just as I sputter out, “Hell-“ again, I am greeting by a man standing in the doorway of the master bedroom in his birthday suit, hair still dripping wet from what I can only pray is a fresh shower. My “Hello" trips over my tongue and comes out more as a "Whoaaa“…but not before he slams the door between us.


Maybe any other North Texas real estate agent would quickly, with the tail between the legs, back out of the house and wait in the driveway, but I am no rookie. When you have seen one, you have seen them all. I head to the kitchen and make sure that when I pull the chair out from the table, that it scrapes against the tile so that he knows I haven’t left and that he better pick up speed because my clients have taken time out of their busy day to see this house.


I will say, he is the only person I have ever met that has gone from a birthday suit to fully dressed and out the door in two minutes and 37 seconds flat. Yes, I timed it.


- Your favorite North Texas Realtor


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